january 22, 2011
my very first visit with my sister.
she has been locked up for 2 months now.
this is the entrance to the hackleberry unit in gatesville.
also known as their substance abuse program.
she got transferred there from franklin county december 22, 2010.
me and dad left our house around 8 am and between all the stops wit the kids didnt make it there till around 1:30.
i saw her and was so excited.i jus about tackled her.
she has changed so much, its amazing.
she doesnt care about anything or anyone other than being there for her son and her family now.
and if you knew her before all this, then you realize how big of a change that is for her.
im proud of her.
we got to visit with her for 2 hours.
in that 2 hours she told me what its like on the inside.
this is her routine:
she wakes up every morning at 4 am.she said feet on deck and bed's made by 4:30, and make it really neat.
she was telling me you have 5 minutes to eat your meal. if you're not done, tough.
the morning we came she said she ate 5 pancakes in that time. and if you know my sister you know she would struggle to eat one in 10 minutes let alone one pancake per minute! ha.
she also told me she has gained 12 pounds :) which is good cuz she was unhealthy skinny.
she told me that they are super strict. and 90 % of the guards are assholes. but like she said they dont wanna make it easy on you because they dont wanna see you come back, they want you to better yourself.
during transit you have to be arms length from the person in front of you and behind you and put your arms behind your back and not say a word.
shes going to school to get her GED and wen she gets out she has plans to go to college.
im so surprised because before all this not once had she ever mentioned college.
she appreciates all the support on the outside. family and friend wise.
as for the guys that once were a part of her life, im sorry but she could care less about any of you, except jon!
her words, not mine.
she said they have group sessions.
thats pretty much one of the only times they can talk unless they are on their time.
they have this group called encounter.
its like where anyone in the dorm can call someone out for something but have to have a counselor there.
you cant cuss but say for instance someone was being rude to you, you could call em out for it.
in alex's instance this chick was mouthin bad about black people. i aint gunna say what she said. but the "n" word and stuff. you're not allowed to say anything to them till encounter so alex encountered her about it.
lol alex has got encountered too.she said she wanted to slap the fuck out the girl but you gotta sit on your hands and say thank you to everything they say. she said its what the counselors call impulse control. which if you think about it, is exactly what she needed. then she said they did another activity where they write about any kind of addiction they have and then how it affected someone close to them. they have to write 3 a day.she wrote about me and said when she used to use drugs it tore our relationship apart. because she would fight with me over the stupidest shit even if i didnt wanna fight. and i was shocked, that she realizes how she used to be now and realized that was a problem. she got lice wen she first got there and luckily there was a girl in her dorm that helped her get every single thing out cuz she said they jus give you the kit and if you dont get them all out, too bad. so now she wears grease in her hair. but it looks cute. it looks scrunched wen we went to see her. cuz she said she curled it the night before since she knew we were coming with a toilet paper roll ha. she has seen some girl on girl action and she said luckily no girl likes her like that. she said its the nastiest thing in the world and she wished she had never seen it lol. she has to take a shower in 5 minutes too. she said that she never realized how much she took for granted until now. she said she is going to appreciate being able to take her time to do things wen she gets out. it was nice being able to talk and bullshit with her and jus sitting there talking to her and all the stuff they teach her is so interesting.
like about bad behaviors. say for instance you dont ever do anything unless you get something out of it in return. they say thats not a good thing. and some other ones but i cant remember them right now.
i told her shes gunna have to teach me things everytime i go visit :)
she looks good and she really is doing good.she does as she is told so no one has a reason to fuck with her.
saying goodbye was the hardest part.she started bawling because of me and tony. mainly tony at first.
she said that hes already talkin more and that shes only gunna be able to see him 9 times in the 9 months shes gunna be locked up and its hurting her how much hes gunna change between now and then and that she wont be able to witness it. she was really upset about it but tony hugged her and told her not to cry and comforted her. then it was my turn and i broke down.
my sister is the one person i can talk to about ANYTHING because she never judges me ever. there are jus some things that you can only tell a sibling. so if you have a brother or a sister take time out of the day to let them know how much you appreciate them. because trust me, you will wish you did more often if something were to ever happen to them where you couldnt tell them everyday.
her release date from there is september 22, 2011.
then she goes to a halfway house in dallas for 3 months.
but there she gets weekend passes to come home so that will be good!
i think the whole point of there is to help them transition into being back on the outside again..
im so ready to have my sister back.
241 days and counting.
only a month to visit again.
as for anyone that has a loved one on the inside and supports them thru it all, you are one strong and amazing person!
because it is NOT easy at all!
--peace out, girl scout--
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