30 Day Challenge: Day 13

Day 13: Picture of your favorite band or artist

Lil Wayne. He is my number ONE favorite artist ever. His flow is amazing, and it's all from his head. His music has gotten me through soo much in my life. He is the greatest at what he does :))

Nicki Minaj is definitely a close second. She is a "bad bitch" lol. And she is so down to earth. She always takes care of her family and the people that mean something to her. She doesn't forget what it's like to struggle and she always comes out on top. Not to mention she is gorgeous!

Drake is my last favorite. Never when I saw him playing Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi would I have imagined the words he could put out, the music he had in him. I never would have thought he could be this great. He puts all his songs into a dummy blackberry lol. He is also very talented.

What can I say? It's gotta be Young Money!! :))

30 Day Challenge: Day 12

Day 12: Picture of something I love

Faith. Faith is confidence or trust in a person or thing. The only thing I have to hold onto sometimes is faith. Faith that everything happens for a reason. Faith that everything will work out for me and my family. Faith that I will reach my goals. Faith, so I don't have to worry. When I was pregnant with my son I went to a Pentecostal church with my best friend chrissy. I was so depressed because I felt like I had nothing and no one. I had friends but I jus felt like I didn't have anyone I don't know why. That was my first time going to a pentecostal church. And if you don't know what it's like DO NOT judge them. They don't scream and shout like all people think. But they do talk in tongues. This is the first time I have heard it. And another lady there translated for me. A person of this religion talks in tongues when the holy spirit possesses her. The message I got that day was SO powerful. It was something like this: Have no fear, I am watching over you. You need to have faith. Your day will come for extreme happiness. I know you are sad and scared but there's no need. It will be okay, I promise. And some other things I can't remember right now. I was so extremely moved though, I jus knew that was meant at me. I could feel something of a higher power wash over me and I was calm and happy. I got saved that day. And it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm hoping once Candon gets a lil older I can start going back to church.

Other things I love:

• my family
• friends
• cream soda
• sunshine
• lake
• big sunglasses
• shoes

30 Day Challenge: Day 11

Day 11: Picture of something you hate

I have several things I hate.

Donald Chaz Smith is what I hate the most. Because he is everything I hate. I hate abusers. He beat me. I hate cheaters. He cheated the whole time we were together. And I hate people that use others and don't care who they hurt. I wasted 3 years of my life off and on with him. And it got me no where but crying all the time and going crazy because I was always worried what he was doing. That is NO way to be in a relationship. I am a strong and beautiful person and I deserve the absolute best. Honestly, I have no clue what I was thinking putting up with his bs that long. I should have known the first time he hit me. I should have known the first time I caught him making out with my best friend. But "love" is blind. I do appreciate only one thing he gave me, Candon Jay Patrick. I believe with all my heart that putting up with everything I had to go through was worth it. Because I wouldn't have a reason to live if I didn't have my son.  But I'm so glad Chaz is finally out of my life and I never want to see him again.

Other things I really hate:

• racism
• gay hatred
• liars
• spiders
• needles
• heights
• clowns

30 Day Challenge: Day 10

Day 10: A picture of a person who has gotten you through the most

Christopher Dewayne Barker. He has been my best friend for only 4 years but it feels like we have been best friends our whole life. He is gay and I have gotten into fights with people making fun of him jus like he has always had my back. We are both so much alike there is never a dull moment. I was in the worst relationship of my life off and on for 2 and a half years with Candon's "sperm donor" and chrissy saved me. He listened to me cry everytime I got my heart broke and even though he kept telling me I deserved better and was getting tired of me hurting, he was always there day or night. I have been through alot with my family and now with alex in jail for a year's time. Some days I jus want to give up but whenever I feel like that all I have to do is call chrissy and he will drop what he's doing to cheer me up. That's what best friends are for, when they have your back when it feels like the whole world is against you. Even though we have our own lives trying to make a real future for ourselves chrissy will always be my number one in my heart. And I know that he will always be there to pick me back up when I fall, no matter the distance. I love you bestie :)

--peace out, girl scout--

30 Day Challenge: Day 9

Day 9: A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

This one is definitely to my sister ha. We have had our fights when i was pregnant where we were punching each other and screaming at each other. And we have partied together, in her case it was a little too severe. But apart from it all I have had the most fun of my life with my sister. When it was US against the WORLD :) those are definitely my better memories. I ain't gunna lie I used to smoke weed, drink, and take pills on a regular basis. It was a small ass town and I guess that's what I decided was best to pass the time. I don't ever regret anything that we have done. Honestly, I'm shocked after all the shit we have done together that I'm not locked up with her ha. But I wouldn't do any good to anyone in there. These kinds of memories will be in the past. Hopefully we can still act crazy together when she gets out without being illegal about it! haha.

--peace out, girl scout--

30 Day Challenge: Day 8

Day 8: A photo that makes you laugh



This is my son candon and devon's boob earmuffs. thinking back to this makes me laugh everytime! :) ha he liked em, im not surprised. hes already such a guy.

--peace out, girl scout--

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